Thursday, May 28, 2009

Do you hear angels singing?

Anna has something she wants to show everyone.

All clean 

Yep, that's underwear. Underwear that she wore today. All day. Do you see where I'm going with this?

After months of slowly teaching Anna what to do with that lovely porcelain device in our bathrooms, we finally have some results. Our first, very first, accident free day.

You have to understand that this is a miracle. Less than a week ago, Anna started screaming any time we tried to sit her on the potty and was asking for a diaper. In fact, the whole time we've been trying to potty train her, it has been a struggle. However, after this last Sunday, I was about ready to put her in diapers until she was 20. But I didn't. Instead, I was forced to recognize that Anna and I were having major power struggle issues and if anyone was going to change, it was going to have to be me.

So, I discussed things with Hubby, and Aunt Ebis who happened to be in town, decided on somethings that I needed to change and hashed out a new plan for this whole potty training torture.

What we decided to do was a bit contrary to just about any advice I had been given. Instead of having her sit on the potty every hour or so, like everyone says that you should do, we stopped having her sit on the potty at all, except for right before naps and any time we left the house. I wouldn't mention it. Then, each time her underwear was wet, I would calmly respond and have her remove her underwear all by herself (not a fun task). Putting all the responsibility on her helped me to let go of the anger I felt each time Anna had an accident. Suddenly it wasn't my fault any more and she wasn't doing it to thwart my efforts to get her on the potty.

Of course, the first couple of days were messy, to say the least, but then she stopped pooping in her underwear, but would sit on her little potty when she felt it coming. And today she chose to sit on the potty several times, all on her own, and managed to keep her underwear clean and dry.

Yes, I know it isn't going to be perfect from now on, but at least I've been given a glimpse of what it is going to be like when this is all over. So, thanks to everyone who kept me sane. The end is in sight.


Cailean said...

Congratulations to all of you! What a big achievement :) I came to the same conclusion when potty-training our first. It was a big power struggle for sure until I realized she was going to do it on her own time no matter what I did or said! And I learned SO much about how to parent Elizabeth along the way, so it was a huge blessing.

Jeanerbee said...

That sounds great! I know when I see power struggles cropping up with Eli, it usually helps my feelings and his behavior to back off for a while... I'll have to keep that in mind for potty training! I agree with Cailean... I think they all do it when they want to, and we can either fight them along the way or just accept it =). Great work!

Belkycita said...

Yeah for you both!!!
Super wise Jess told me that potty-training starts with me. Very true,I had a really hard time but when things start getting better they really do,so get excited :-)

Hilary said...

Congratulations! We just got our very stubborn, independent just-turned-three-last-month daughter fully trained now (even nights!) and I was surprised at how easily it all fell into place once it finally all fell into place! :-)
The light at the end of the tunnel is the best . . . :-) Well, except for the actual end of the tunnel!

(Just blog stalking my sister in law Liz's friends while getting the baby to fall asleep! Great blog, and you now have me googling 'power struggle children' for the rest of the evening!)